Sunday, June 26, 2005

12:27 PM// I want to be a soggy headless midsection

In my on going quest for fame and/or fortune, I think my best chance for sequeing into the former would be to appear in one of those news reports on fat people depicting a bunch of dangerously obese persons milling about on a public street with their heads cut off so their identities are "protected." I could wear an identifiably loud tee-shirt, get really fat, and parade around in public areas hoping to be picked up on the nightly news. Then, when the talk is of who the headless, loud tee-shirt wearing, soggied midsection, gross-out fest is...that's when I make my move. My business model looks something like this:

  1. Get really fat
  2. ?
  3. Profit!

Then, to further capitalize on this great scheme, all I need to do is lose all that weight faster than is reasonable or safe, and claim I owe it all to the currently vogue diet.

For example, the Detroit 2% fast-food tax diet. Because a $10/year increase in my daily fast food habit will really cause me to lose weight.


At 12:29 AM, Blogger Michael said...



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