Thursday, August 02, 2007

9:49 AM// Disembodied Dog

dog

Got this postcard advertisement in the mail yesterday:

Anything strike you as particularly disturbing?

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

2:58 AM// iTunes-like interface in JavaScript?

It's true. I set out to mimic the iTunes Album Art interface using only JavaScript and came up with this.

Do wha?

Why would anyone do such a thing, you ask? In the ongoing effort to improve my own photography website and cool-point multiplier, I was brainstorming ways to display a series of photographs as art. Then I thought, "hey, that iTunes thing is pretty good -- why don't I just steal that?"

How?

Each piece of art has three states: left, forward, and right. The left and right bits slide back and forth -- easy. The clicked-upon artwork fades from its side slot in sync with the currently displayed piece. The img src of the forward piece is changed, then faded back in. Huzzah! Instant album art.

I'd like to thank Scriptaculous for providing such wonderful JavaScript functions for the sliding and fading. Prototype helped too.

Making the images, on the other hand, was also a challenge. Turns out Photoshop has a JavaScript-based scripting language! Who knew? You can't do everything, like make or use masks, which would be fantastic, but you can automate quite a bit. Also, the more limited macros helped.

Well, I'd say definitely worth staying up all night for. Happy Independence Day, to all you fellow USers.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

5:15 PM// Fun with the WHOIS Server

A WHOIS lookup with query microsoft.com yielded the following results:
MICROSOFT.COM.ZZZZZ.GET.LAID.AT.WWW.SWINGINGCOMMUNITY.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.ZZZOMBIED.AND.HACKED.BY.WWW.WEB-HACK.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.ZZZ.IS.0WNED.AND.HAX0RED.BY.SUB7.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.WILL.LIVE.FOREVER.BECOUSE.UNIXSUCKS.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.WILL.BE.SLAPPED.IN.THE.FACE.BY.MY.BLUE.VEINED.SPANNER.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.WILL.BE.BEATEN.WITH.MY.SPANNER.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.WAREZ.AT.TOPLIST.GULLI.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.TOTALLY.SUCKS.S3U.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.SMELLS.SIMPLECODES.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.SHOULD.GIVE.UP.BECAUSE.LINUXISGOD.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.RAWKZ.MUH.WERLD.MENTALFLOSS.CA
MICROSOFT.COM.OHMYGODITBURNS.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.LOVES.ME.KOSMAL.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.LIVES.AT.SHAUNEWING.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.IS.NOT.YEPPA.ORG
MICROSOFT.COM.IS.NOT.HOSTED.BY.ACTIVEDOMAINDNS.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.IS.NOT.AS.COOL.AS.SIMPLECODES.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.IS.IN.BED.WITH.CURTYV.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.IS.GOD.BECOUSE.UNIXSUCKS.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.IS.A.STEAMING.HEAP.OF.FUCKING-BULLSHIT.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.IS.A.MESS.TIMPORTER.CO.UK
MICROSOFT.COM.HAS.ITS.OWN.CRACKLAB.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.HAS.A.PRESENT.COMING.FROM.HUGHESMISSILES.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.FILLS.ME.WITH.BELLIGERENCE.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.DRINKS.LISTERINE.NET
MICROSOFT.COM.CAN.GO.FUCK.ITSELF.AT.SECZY.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.ARE.GODDAMN.PIGFUCKERS.NET.NS-NOT-IN-SERVICE.COM
MICROSOFT.COM.AND.MINDSUCK.BOTH.SUCK.HUGE.ONES.AT.EXEGETE.NET
MICROSOFT.COM

Saturday, August 27, 2005

9:09 AM// Welcome to Jakarta, where the local time is: tomorrow.

After 40 hours, Alex and I have safely arrived in Bogor, a suburb of Jakarta. We've spent the last four days at a friend of a friend's amazing house in Bogor. He's an American with plenty of excellent contacts to people who've done research in or near Kerinci Seblat national forest (where we will be). This is truly stroke of luck as his help has been enormously invaluable.

Trying to hit the ground running, we're flogging our way through the Indonesian bureaucracy, obtaining permits and visiting government offices left and right. We will be pleasantly "stuck" here for another few days before we can fly to Padang, then drive to Sungaipenuh, our ultimate destination within Kerinci.

Interesting experiences include riding an ojek (motorcycle taxi) and trying to explain to a taxi driver in a language I don't speak well directions to a place I don't know well. The food is a bit spicy, but apparently is nothing compared to where we're going. Sushi-Thai frequenters will be somewhat familiar with Padang-style foods and the possible spice-level.

Today we visited the (famed?) botanical gardens of Bogor, which was apparently a haven for rich Dutch merchants years ago. Quite enjoyable. Pictures uploaded next time.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

2:49 PM// I am

In an attempt to copy Mike, I'm reporting all the things Tim is according to Google:

Tim is able to see his brother
Tim is back in action
Tim is now playing in Rome
Tim is a quiet and easy-going guy
Tim is of Norwegian and Irish descent although he is also 1/64 Cherokee
Tim is one of eleven contributing authors
Tim is co-author of Essential Oracle8i Data Warehousing
Tim is now offering individual philosophical counselling and philosophical coaching in London
Tim is NOT dead
Tim is dead
Tim is writing a book on Big Business's use of Big Government
Tim is Chief Executive Officer of InterKnowlogy
Tim is included with each TR1000 for Microsoft Speech Server
Tim is tightly integrated with Microsoft Speech Server
Tim is an emalgarmation of Ideas and Concepts that have helped to shape the Universe!!!
Tim is a tremendous example for all of us
Tim is toppled by Fred
Tim is leaving
Tim is beautiful people
Tim is a revealing experience
Tim is made out of a polystyrene ball
Tim is a paradigm for our community
Tim is tapping again
Tim is tooting his horn
Tim is a star gazer
Tim is expected to create a modest increase in IMF financing
Tim is one of the most acclaimed albums of its era
Tim is the most well-rounded character you've been asked to play
Tim is the one
Tim is also hanging onto the chair
Tim is now portable
Tim is this
Tim is dead
Tim is thinking
Tim is wearing a tie and masturbating a Bud Light as he dances
Tim is!
Tim is able to automatically identify these generic types
Tim is the coolest man ever to live.

And there you have it. All things Tim is.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

3:42 PM// Hippieville, here I come!

I quit my job, sold my car, sold my washer/dryer, and gave away my computer. I'm trading it all in for a big backpack that I can sew a few flags onto. I've gone at least 2 months without a haircut, and about 3 weeks since my last shave.

And I'm moving to Indonesia.

I have some great stories about haggling with my insurance company over the extension to year-long anti-Malaria prescription coverage, but instead I think I'll just quote some of the expected side effects of Ciprofloxacin, an anti-diarrhea drug:

"SIDE EFFECTS: Stomach upset, loss of appetite, diarrhea, nausea, headache, ..."
(emphasis added) Yep, a side effect of anti-diarrhea medication is diarrhea. My how far we've come in modern medicine.

But actually, it is quite amazing what we can do. Currently, or within 3 days, I will be shielded from polio, tetanus, diphtheria, Japanese encephalitis, rabies, hepatitis A & B, mumps, measles, rubella, and typhoid. Huzzah!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

9:16 PM// Grown women say "retard"

I was watching the President's address this evening concerning the naming of the next Supreme Court Justice Roberts while cleaning up the kitchen a bit. PBS apparently only carried it on their HDTV channel, so I had to switch to a snowy CBS broadcast ("why watch what everyone else is watching?"). The moment the briefing ended I expected anchors seated about a news desk to discuss the implications of the new choice, Roberts' decision record, his stance on abortion, etc. Instead, CBS immediately returned to whatever program they had interrupted to bring us the 8 minute EXTRAORDINARY POLITICAL NEWS, and before I could make it to the remote, I was tuned into some reality show concerning a group of insecure 30 year old sorority girls and shallow frat boys, literally parading around in front of sunbathing women flexing their muscles.

The panel of women were discussing the implications of their newly obtained "veto power", presumably some democratic method of removing a male contestant. All the women were blonde, and all spoke with an interesting rhythm of raising the pitch of their voice on every other word, like, ya know? I didn't know people really spoke like that outside of middle school. And the blondest of them actually used the phrase, "she's a retard", referring to her teammates' compassion for the male she was casting a vote against.

Moments after the retard comment, I learned that owning a Kia Sportage would make my life fundamentally better, Arm & Hammer baking soda employs magical power crystals that whisk away odor ogres to the magical land of Narnia, Ranch salad dressing apparently has some frightening neurological side effects inducing hallucinations that make you think you're sitting in the middle of a field, and I can't live without at least 200 channels of television at my disposal.

And with that I leave you to return to my book concerning an adventure across Borneo.