5:51 PM// Well, I'm a Fool

Got another call from RTI yesterday. Now they want to make it June 20^th. I'm a fool.

5:52 PM// Would you like some car to go with that egg?

My car got egged sometime yesterday morning. Huzzah! It happened sometime between 2am and 2pm, but I'm assuming the vandals used the cover of darkness for their fun. Oddly there were no other cars around on the street I parked, so I can't quite explain why I was singled out. Maybe my Anyone but Bush sticker was found offensive. Well, that would be right on spot, wouldn't it? Every passionate anti-anti-bush person tries to kill, mame, destroy, cut-off, or silence anyone who disagrees whilst anti-bushers always say "interesting...let's engage in a rational discussion regarding this topic." Err, um, at least in my experience. This is a purely objective viewpoint.

5:52 PM// RTI Update

Now with more June 1st.

I meet the legal definition of a fornicator.

According to North Carolina law, I am in clear violation of the Fornication and Adultery Statute because I live with my unmarried girlfriend. I suppose I would remain in violation if she were married to someone else as well. Anyway, my favorite part of this article is where the executive director for the NC Family Policy Council, a conservative group, supports this 200 year-old law, citing studies suggesting premarital cohabitating couples do not enjoy successful marriages. Naturally, this is an important point to consider before moving in together, but do "violators" really deserve six months in prison? So the Family Policy Council thinks making people obey certain courting rituals on pain of prison will make marriages work? Whose business is it of theirs how I choose to conduct a marriage? And who said people who live together have to get married anyway?

Ironically, this law removes heterosexuals' rights to live together premaritally, while saying nothing of homosexual couples, since two or more same sex persons may live together without fear of doing hard-time (as an actor said to a bishop). I'd wager there are few laws that simultaneously find favor with conservatives and give more rights to gay couples.

Special thanks to Alex for bringing this to my attention.

5:53 PM// Well, I'm an idiot

Sunday night's Family Guy was named "North by North Quahog". And I thought I was so clever.

5:54 PM// Family Guy is Back!

Cary Grant deftly evades a biplane wielding the lead sandwich special

Just watched the much anticipated return of Family Guy. Well done, well done. I'd really like to introduce more people to great movies like North by Northwest, so often parodied in Groenian animation. Anytime a character narrowly escapes death by a bullet vomiting biplane in a corn field, you have North by Northwest to thank (although, curiously, the biplane in North by Northwest initially tried to smother Cary Grant with pesticide, something not often repeated). The DVD cover art actually depicts this scene. Finding reasons for main characters to appear in rural corn furtile lands is another thing. Remember the Simpsons where Marge develops a fear of flying? "This is what a cornfield looks like. Oh." That happened in tonight's Family Guy too, but the secret hideout atop Mt. Rushmore was a dead giveaway, made all the better by it belonging to Mel Gibson.

Grant and Saint hang precariously from Mt. Rushmore.

Anyway, if you want to enrich your life with yet another Hitchcock triumph, don't hesitate to call.

On a much more depressing note, I subjected myself to nearly half of American Dad's second excrementing…er, airing. Blah. What happened MacFarlane? I would say American Dad is Family Guy's evil twin, but I think it can be more aptly described as Family Guy's neck boil which rotted off and promptly recongealed in a gutter somewhere as American Dad.